I was too confuse to think till what I'm saying seems so wrong..

Well I guess fantasy was just part of reality 

which it is just not physically here. 

I'm always not sure if what I'm saying makes any sense to others 

but it do make sense to me.

You are part of my reality 

But I cant change the fact that we just like a pen-pal now. 

From 2 different countries, neighboring countries. 

;and as much as I would love to meet you and to know you more

I cant, I need to realise that Im someone fiancee 

and getting married in less than a year from now. 

Its just a little too late for me to do that move.

Reality of me getting married to shazly is scary

Honestly, i dont know how it will be

With the trust issues and egos and communication ect.

What can i do. What should i do.

Oh Allah. I hand it over all to you. 

Guide me to the righteous , Ya Allah

Like i said

~ so near yet so far ~