I was too confuse to think till what I'm saying seems so wrong..

Well I guess fantasy was just part of reality 

which it is just not physically here. 

I'm always not sure if what I'm saying makes any sense to others 

but it do make sense to me.

You are part of my reality 

But I cant change the fact that we just like a pen-pal now. 

From 2 different countries, neighboring countries. 

;and as much as I would love to meet you and to know you more

I cant, I need to realise that Im someone fiancee 

and getting married in less than a year from now. 

Its just a little too late for me to do that move.

Reality of me getting married to shazly is scary

Honestly, i dont know how it will be

With the trust issues and egos and communication ect.

What can i do. What should i do.

Oh Allah. I hand it over all to you. 

Guide me to the righteous , Ya Allah

Like i said

~ so near yet so far ~

;but again reality is the reality ~

Though as much I want that fantasy to come real, 

I know that just wont happen

My reality is ticking & the time is coming,

'and you are just part of my fantasy, my dreams .

All I could say is,

You are just so close yet so far ~

Northern Aurora Lights ~

Northern Aurora Lights ~

'where the sky is the galaxy spaces

Allah creates just the PERFECT things. 

Somewhere in the Northern area he creates the skies that looks like the galaxy 

Just a peaceful view ~

Guess this would be the places where I could say 

;Where reality and fantasy collide ~ 

in earth

I just want to bring myself there.

Iceland? Denmark ? Canada ? 

Where ever the northern aurora lights will be,

I want to be there too ~

Haaa ! ~~ Dang its been a while ..

So much have change ever since my last post. Where reality and fantasy just not wanting to collide.

I'm engaged ! Who knew ?? Me being someone's fiancée.

Demi Allah, after being engaged, the challenges Allah sent down seems harder and harder.

But I know HE wont sent down the challenges that beyond my capacity!

Alhamdulillah , I will get it through. 

In shaa Allah.

;and where fantasy just seems so near yet so far. ~

Am i in the wrong??

I just dont understand him and he just dont understand me.

I dont know if we are meant together...

Just how much I want to be free but i cant, 

You wont let me of 

Im scare of what your family would say if i left

Im scare that they will hate me for that and think of me badly

But im hurting inside

Yes he loves me but he does not know how to make me feel im truly loved.. 

Or isit just me.. 

Brokenhearted Girl

If you can leave a brokenhearted girl alone in the middle of the night, you are not worth it. 

But why am I still keeping you around 😔

So previously we had a arguement about US , basically he said i change and i said i wanted to but he is not supporting and blablabla. 

Well i admit the past few days or weeks i realise i have not been treating him the way i used to , as such my convo with him are lacking and might hurt his feelings. 

Im sorry for that. 

After the arguement we had, things change, cant really say if its good or bad but we do starts to actually lack of convo and attention. 

He seems to not be entertaining me as used to but im trying to be normal and be ok with it after i find out how he felt and how sorry i am so i tried to at least talk as much but seems its not catching any of his attention now. 

Maybe that arguement ... Haiz.. Well i dont know.. 

It kinda hurt my feelings too to see it this way but maybe he is just having his revenge on me as that is how i treat him the past few days or week.

Kinda still remembered that he said its boring. The relationship is getting boring .

Well i know that . 

But i dont know why it hurts to hear it from him and he saying that to his friends about it. I dont say that to my friends , i mostly kept it confidential. 

That kinda hurt my feelings but maybe this is what he wants me to feel. 

Im sorry for hurting you in a way.