The day I fall off back to reality

Say goodbye to fantasy , cause thats never gonna happen

Thank you making me realise so much that I did not

Im no longer the star that you would wanna reach for

You know the truth already

U know everything already, 

well all not but those important ones you know

I dissapoint you so much

and im sorry for that

You thought that Im pure, the shining star

while the truth im just an old rusty star 

that no longer can shine as bright as others

I shall move on from my fantasy and move back to reality
I learnt so much without realizing

Jodoh di tangan Allah
Kita hanya merancang
Tapi Allah yang menentukan
Allah knows best

I am shame of my mistakes
and yes I wanna move forward n not look back

Thanks for being there for me Mr fantasy
May Allah ease your affairs too 
Be happy

Anas said that when the Prophet, peace be upon him, 

was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate

“Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu 

(O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace)."

-------

As the clock is ticking,

I dont know if I should be happy or not

the decision of getting married now I realised is not that easy

Yes , I want to get married someday with someone to guide me in the path to Allah Swt, 

but I dont know is the person I chose is the right one

Oh Allah, i seek your help as only you know whats best for me

I'm not being the best servant of yours
but Allah, forgive me and guide me and help me

Thank You Allah~

~Reality is pulling me back from the fantasy~

Before when I was just about to post out about you, Mr Fantasy, 

that you showed care & concern & texting all day all night

but nothing seems to change or progress.

Then something happened~

You confessed! 

Confessed your feelings towards me and saying what your heart felt

I couldn't help but to feel the same way 

; and i told you that.

But reality is the only thing thats stopping us.

Most likely that would be my reality

I just have so many things left unsaid

Like im getting married ~

Yesterday, while we were texting at night

you began to ask what movie i watched the day before

and that day before I was sulking with you 

so I did not really talk much like I always did

You asked me with whom I watched

and I did not respond till few hours later

with just a reply of "Back"

You knew with whom I when with though

You said you felt like a third party in my relationship

as I still have that feelings even when Im with reality

I told you to throw those feelings away 

I was naive to told you that

;but i dont want you to be more hurt later on

You chose for us to be good friend instead

but and i chose to just leave

and it breaks your heart more and I'm sorry

After that conversation , now we are just not like how we used to

and i missed that

Fantasy ..

"Putting up high hopes may just pulls you down way beneath."

Thats what I told myself for like the past years

but seems like im falling in the same direction again

I should have known, 

that we are not meant together

You are just there and im just here.

we are only "in soial media"

Just like you said..

Seems funny where most of our conversation felt real

or maybe that was just me

My fantasy just wont come true,

hahaha...

It will just be there 

Stays there

not going any where

It will just be part of my dream.

JUSTIN BIEBER - The Feeling (Cover by Leroy Sanchez & Jessica Sanchez)

Am I in love with you

;or am I in love with the feeling ~

Tick Tock Tick Tock ~

The clock is ticking, reality day by day passes

How scary to know whats going to happen next

Day by day all he was talking about was his work

not even caring about how my well doings.

;and that day by day 

my fantasy which partly my reality began to be more caring

My heart began to juggle

Smiling all the way looking at the messages 

Dear Reality, Dear Fantasy,

Will reality win ? 

Because we already made the deal and plans.

Will he start loving me back and start appreciating me?

Will be start to show more care n concerns?

Will fantasy be the one im chasing for?

Knowing he likes just the opposite of me

but he cares for me, as a pen-pal

He is there for me 

and my well beings.

Or it is just me ?

Reality & Fantasy just wont collide ~